Jeebus H. Cripes on a pogo stick

exclamation. In standard English, this can be loosely translated as "Jesus H. Christ on a crosstown bus."

Related expressions: Jeebus H. Cripes on a cracker, Jeebus H. Cripes on a popsicle stick.

Real citation: “Jeebus H Cripes on a pogo stick. You drones are so clouded to reality it’s beyond amazing.”
(March 25, 2006, Apple Matters, http://www.applematters.com/index.php/section/comments/apple_to_spit_into_apple_computer_apple_electronics/)

Made-up citation: "When the Bills pulled out a soul-crushing loss to the Cowboys a few weeks ago, I had three thoughts: 1) Jeebus H. Cripes on a pogo stick! 2) I'm glad I don't live in Buffalo anymore. 3) I wish I were a chicken wing and someone would eat me and then throw the bones to a rabid dog."