In the Popular Things That Make Me Lose My Marbles Department, I need to rant about the super-popular Twitter account @shitgirlssay.
This account might be the most boring goddamn Twitter account I have ever read, and that is saying something. It consists of trite sentences like "I'm just kind of in a weird mood today" and "Are you busy tonight?" that are allegedly preferred by "girls," which I assume is supposed to mean women. That's it. There's nothing else to it. It's just inane, boring, short sentences.
Is this supposed to be funny? Or interesting? I don't understand. 87,000 followers obviously have access to a secret decoder ring that I lack.
The most maddening thing about the account is that very few of the sentences--which are stupefyingly boring, if I didn't mention that already--seem girl-centric at all. For example:
"That's actually kinda nice."
"It's such a beautiful day, you should get out and enjoy it."
"I think I’m gonna start my own business."
"Do you still keep in touch with anyone from high school?"
"I cant believe its almost November."
"What do I want to eat?"
Who in the world--male or female, young or old, human or Cylon--would not say these things sometimes? What the holy hell does this have to do with girls/women? By the hammer of Thor, what am I missing?
When you think about the amazing humor of @shitmydadsays and compare it to the absolute nothingness of @shitgirlssay... Well, I guess shit ain't shit anymore.
On the upside, I suppose this is a good time to launch my own account @shitboyssay. Here's a preview of some of the hilarious, fascinating tweets:
"I'll have a hamburger."
"What time is it?"